| oh xanga. i've had you since the 8th grade. how much you reveal about me... though it's never been too much of a problem, it appears that as i age, it is now. i've seen many people come and go, deading their xangas, but we've been here together for a glorious almost 6 and a half, almost 7 years now... though i don't really want to deaden you... i think it may be the best for us...
i won't completely kill you off though. you'll simply stay in a vegetative state. we'll see what happens to you...
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| i smell like brew strewn from lampposts and street lights, really freaking tired because i have been working on and have to continue working on my studio project. my lungs are cold, from running to broad street. my throat feels like the broken glass on broad street has scratched it. fireworks light up the sky, the streets are loud with the sounds of honking cars(including my own) and people cheering and yelling. trees have been felled, signs are overturned, things are broken, it is utter chaos.
FREAKING AWESOME...
GO PHILS!
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| im supposed to be working on my final project, but there is something that continues to distract me.
i realize now that i have finally lost...
after all these years of fighting the system, fighting authorities, arguing the norm, i've finally given up.
theres a lot of different ways to try and justify myself. i can say that i'm "growing." i can say that i've become "less selfish." tell me i've lost this battle and i'm sure that as is my nature, i will find every reason to try and justify myself. but now...
now... i think i've finally grown tired of fighting and never winning. i've never won, but kept on fighting. however now... this is the ultimate defeat...
so was the last straw? the final blow? congrats to Grace Covenant Church... you've broken me...
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| we are all broken.
malfunctional.
dysfunctional.
defective.
damaged people...
of whom i am the worst.
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